Weekly Update: Three muddy Nidds and the most nuclear Word to the Wise in history

Well hello there!

It was great to see those of you who made it to the Christmas drinks in town at the weekend. I’ve no idea what on earth possessed Christine J and Sarah H to head into the toilets and change outfits (but I do wish I’d taken a photo), although I suspect the final bottle/s of wine had something to do with it. And with that traumatic image etched firmly into your impressionable mind, we’ll turn our attention to the results.


Starting with a bit of a catch up this week, with a result from early December. Carol Morgan (clearly keeping her light under the bushel) completed in the Frostbite 30 – an ultra-marathon up and hill and down dale beyond Pateley Bridge. Carol secured second lady overall, in an alarmingly satanic-sounding time of 6:06:06. As she crossed the finished line, lightning flashed down from the darkening skies and her victory cry of MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA echoed down Nidderdale. Well done, Carol!

I’ve got no results for you from the PECO race yet (I was going to send this email to you yesterday but thought I’d hang fire until today in the hope that they’d be available today – alas not). I’ll have them to you next week. But in the meantime, it’s congratulations to Andy Todd, Fingers Harris, Edoardo Piano, Matt “I’m not at all bitter about being beaten” Wilkinson, Steve Newton, Martin Lofthouse, Sarah Chalmers, Philippa Moorse and Michelle Smith. Excellent work from all of you. Except those of you who had hangovers, obviously (you know who you are).

Steve Newton completed his 50th Parkrun on the Harrogate course, finishing in 23:40. It’s a wonder he got round, given how muddy it was. Fighting to keep their footing, Martin Lofthouse (19:41) and Matt Wilkinson (20:46) made the first deposits in the Bank of Nidd Valley. Despite slipping over and face planting on the far side of the course, Dan Eagling (21:51) still made fast work of the course, joined by Edoardo Piano (21:57), Maurice Kelly (22:49) and Fingers Harris (23:39). I’m delighted to see Ben Baird (23:39) back in the mix, but equally thrilled to see great results from Fiona Deacon (24:02), Kate Maybury (26:46), Christine Jones (27:20) and Sarah Hughan (27:33). Parkrun Dave (27:44) put in a fab performance, with Rebecca Ventress (28:24) and Tony LC (28:26) not far behind. With a hangover she could have sold to medical research, the dirty little stop out Debbie Dilasser (30:52) hauled herself round the course without chucking up, followed by a set of strong finishes from Jane Hill (30:52), Mandy Smith (37:59), (honorary Nidd) Mrs Harris (44:56) and Moira McTague (44:58).


Care in the Nidd Valley Community

Sue Reast (29:24) came out of hiding to compete in the Fountain’s Abbey Parkrun, joined by Juniors Jake Stalker (23:26) and Alex Robinson (23:49), and chased home by Fiona Robinson (30:22). As ever, Andy Todd (19:13) was the first Nidd round the monastic course, and so retains the Senior Habit for another week.

No word from the Junior Parkrun this week as the event was cancelled due to the ice in the Valley Gardens. No back bone, these young ‘uns, I tell you. Someone get me Head Coach Amanda on the phone.

And while all others were a-parkrunning, I was joined by Mike Deacon, Dave Prince, Fell Running Phil, Edoardo Piano, Dave Rushton and Brian Sherwood for a freezing Christmas run out over the fields to Plumpton and Little Ribston, before turning for home via Goldsborough. Clearly unlucky to have a first name beginning with D, both Daves continued the tradition established by Dan, took a tumble, and caked themselves attractively in mud. Throughout, we enjoyed a host of inspirational and insightful comments (keep reading, Word to the Wise has never been so good), before heading home for a hot shower and a few hours under the duvet in a vain attempt to warm up.

We get so many letters here in the post room at Nidd Valley House that the carrier pigeons can barely sit down, especially with the mail rush that is on at this time of year. Still, please do keep my posted with your news (it makes a change from Christmas cards from people I can’t quite recall): chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.


The Week Ahead
If you can spare a thought for your Nidd Valley colleagues among all your Christmas shopping and drinks receptions, why not see what we have on offer?
• Tuesday: Don’t say we’re not treating you with this week’s club run: a tour of the Duchy Estate. Starting at the Hockey Club at 7pm, we’re then off down Skipton Road, Kings Road, cutting through to Ripon Road, down the Duchy Road, round the top at Harlow Moor Drive, Otley Road and home. There are options to extend round Beckwith Road if you’ve got plenty more in the tank, or possibilities to cut short if you’re taking it easy. Route here: http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/928018513.
• Thursday: You either love it or hate it: the annual Santa Run. More below.
• Saturday: Ladies’ Brunch. Again, see more below.


Santa Run: Thursday 17 December 2015
The formula for this run is both simple and alarming. We turn up at the Hockey Club for 7pm dressed, to a lesser or greater extent, around a Christmas theme. We’ve had shepherds, elves, santas, angels, and (yonder) stars in the past, although a simple santa hat will suffice. Well, I say that; please wear running kit as well. Under no circumstances just come in a santa hat. I mean it. If you do that, we’ll be all over the paper for the first time in years and it won’t in the results section that’s for sure. We then run round the town, up the escalators in certain supermarkets, stopping every so often so that you can traumatise late night shoppers with renditions of popular carols (“and that was the Nidd Valley Choral Society performing O Holy Night in six different keys…”). After that, it’s drinks in the bar. Believe me when I tell you that you’ll need something to blot the experience out.


Ladies’ Brunch & Secret Santa: Sunday 19 December 2015
As the title suggests, this is for the ladies only. Meet at Hampsthwaite Community Hall carpark for 9am and be prepared for a muddy, off-road, seven mile run. This will then be followed by a brunch at 11am at Sophie’s Cafe (please have clean shoes into which to change!). If you want in, you’ll need to a £10 gift for the secret santa. You need to order food in advance, so if you haven’t let Sarah C know you are coming then you need to do so ASAP. Her email: scpyman@hotmail.com.

Have a great day, ladies.


Emma’s Stretch of the Week
From standing position (feet hip width apart and a neutral spine) take a large step sideways so that your feet are wider than shoulder width apart. Bend one knee and point the toes out to about 45 degrees. Keep the other leg straight and the feet flat on the floor. A mild stretch should be felt on the inside of the straight leg. To feel more stretch lower your body to the floor by increasing the bend in the knee, all the time ensuring that your weight is equally distributed in the centre. Hold for 15 seconds each side.



Sam’s Stretch of the Week
From seated position (feet firmly on the floor), lift a large gin & tonic in your right hand. Drink. Repeat as often as stamina allows.


Steady Runners
I’ve finally pulled my finger out and organised the email group for slower and less confident runners. This group gives people a way to liaise with others and check that others are going to be there, and motivate those who’ve lost their mojo. Nidd Valley is as much a club for the steady and social runners as it is for the speedy, and I want to make sure that you feel able to turn up. I’ve emailed most of you all individually to invite you join, but if you identify yourself as one of these runners and want to be part of this group, please let me know: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.


Save the Dates
Please keep these dates in your diary, folks:
• Saturday 30 January 2016: Awards Night. In the words of the National Lottery: it could be you. You never know, kids, and you have to be in it to win it.
• Thursday 18 February 2016: AGM. Apparently I’ve got to wait until 7 May 2020 to try and vote out the government but you can exercise your democratic rights in a little over two months! How very exciting.


A Word to the Wise
I have three Words to the Wise for you this week. I want to make it clear that Team Nidd in no way endorses the content of these messages.

“My bollocks are soaking wet” – Mike Deacon, discovering that the rain falling on his fancy waterproof running jacket merely ran off onto his crotch.

“I wasn’t that bothered about dogs until I moved in with Philippa” – Matt Wilkinson, and we trust he was talking about Macy.

And, to finish, quite possibly the most nuclear Word to the Wise in NVRR history:
“That’s the thing with modern wives; they don’t know how to wash your fell shoes.” – Phil ‘Tyson Fury’ Robinson, demonstrating an unwavering commitment to the emancipation of women.

Sorry about that comment from Phil, Fiona. Just in case: http://www.divorce.co.uk/.


Have a great week, everyone.

Sam x


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