Well this is all very awkward, but was bound to happen. I left Dan out of the Awards Night speech. I know, can you believe it? To think that such a paragon of athleticism and banter who also celebrated his 100th parkrun this past year could be left out is unbelievable. I’ve no idea how I didn’t realise my mistake. To add insult to injury, I managed to mention his brother Paul who has moved to Ireland, meaning that I overlooked the person I was sat opposite in favour of someone several hundred miles away. Poor Dan. The poor little scamp looked crestfallen at the end of the night, pint in hand, tears streaming down his loveable little face and achievements unrecognised. Give him a hug when you see him and tell him that you love him. I love you too, Dan, even if you do slap my arse as I pass you on intervals (whose idea was it to put him through the coaches training?).
Okay, let’s get on with it. We’ll start with the results from the Muddy Boots 10k, where three Nidds crashed home in very quick succession. Christine Holleran (51:49) was the first of the victorious trio to cross the line, with Moira McTague (55:16) and Rick Dallaston (55:51) in her slipstream. Well done you three.
And we’ll sing the praises of Michelle Smith (1:03:05) who competed in the Hot Toddy 10k in Todmorden today, which said was “like a fell race but on the road” (I know, I don’t think she quite gets this off-road running. I’ll get Fell Running Phil to have a word with her this week). Michelle described the race as somewhat wet (it started with two laps of a flooded field) and said that running the descents was an experience akin to flying. As an aside, all that water and a woman saying that she thinks she is flying reminds me of that ghastly Titanic film. The problem was, by the time you realised how dire the film was, you were trapped in the cinema with a stack of weeping hysterics and had to wait over three hours for the bloody thing to sink. Anyway, I digress. Well done, Michelle.
You’ll be impressed, but probably not surprised, to hear that Carol Morgan (3:44) and Simon Franklin (3:49) completed the Rombalds Stride yesterday. It’s amazing how many clowns will pay £13 to run 23 miles round West Yorkshire, but there we are (actually, come to think of it, that’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do, but we needn’t talk about that). Those of you sitting aghast that Carol could abandon her husband on the moors to secure a five minute advantage will be pleased to know that Carol and Simon ran the RAB Mini Mountain Marathon today and finished together (3:50:18). Ah bless. As another aside though, it isn’t often you see the world marathon and mini in the same sentence is it?
Let’s lift the parkrun stone and see what results are hiding underneath. At Harrogate, Mike Deacon (22:24) put on a strong finish to deny Matt Rickard (22:43) first place, both of them leaving a lesser-spotted Chairman (23:01) in their wake on the muddy course. Still, I had enough on my plate trying to keep Steve Newton (23:08) behind me. It wasn’t long until Fiona Deacon (24:13) appeared at the finishing line, followed by Martin – I appear to be wearing a large orange condom on my head – Lofthouse (24:36), Moira McTague (24:47) and Jim Cook (25:32). Fell Running Phil (26:51) had been coaxed off the hill with the promise of mud, and was joined by Hannah Peagram (27:31) and Parkrun Dave (27:47). Tony LC (30:00) was running as a pacer and got his target time spot on, while Mandy Smith (29:06) put in a strong performance to finish. Fingers Harris (54:59) gets the bonus points this week for volunteering as sweeper.
Now then, you’ll be very interested to hear that Andy Todd (19:35) barely broke sweat in claiming 14th position up at Fountains, with John Mitton (21:22), Maurice Kelly (21:25) and Michelle Dinsdale (31:23) joining him to run 5k of holy ground. Amen to that. And last, but by no means least, we have Catherine Barber (29:41) who got a strong position at the Woodbank parkrun. Amen to that, too.
Get in!! It’s my favourite people: the Juniors. Competing for points in their Winter Race Series, the over 12s joined the seniors on the Stray in running the Harrogate parkrun. Sarah Lofthouse (24:35) bossed it, Alex Robinson (24:53) nailed it, Ben Bradley (30:27) smashed it, and Zoe Andrews was all over it. It gets even better when we look at junior parkrun this morning because, get this, Joe Sutcliffe (8:07) WON the race and got a new PB in the process, but I’m just as amazed at the results Harrison Iles (8:21), James Harvey (8:22), Jake Stalker (8:34), Will Harvey (9:34), Aidan Ranns (10:05) and Euan Madden (10:26). Utterly love it. Nice work, peepettes.
Look, most of the emails offering me heavily discounted Viagra appear to have dried up (if you’ll pardon the expression), but your results really do give me the lift I need (if you’ll pardon that expression, too). Keep me medicated: email@example.com.
The Week Ahead
• Tuesday: you know the deal, kids: it’s intervals. After the sick and twisted scheme to have us run the route in reverse last week, we can but speculate as to what horrors the coaches will unleash upon us this week with the second running of Double Trouble. If you’re feeling brave enough (and I certainly am), then you’ll need to be at the Hockey Club for 7pm, or down on Springfield Avenue for 7.10pm
• Wednesday: committee meeting. More below.
• Thursday: let’s take a tour of curtain-twitching suburbia with the Knox route (and they certainly will be twitching their curtains at the sight of a pack of lycra clad Nidds running past their picket fence). You know the route by now, I’m sure: over the railway bridge, round Woodfield Road and Tennyson Avenue, over Knox Avenue and onto Skipton Road. You can head back to the club from there for a short one, or take in the hills of Ripon Road and head onto West Park. If you’re feeling plucky and adventurous, then you can push further up Leeds Road, or turn and head for home. The choices are various and yours. Here’s the basic riff onto which you can improvise your own athletic melody: http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/928005285. Pints upstairs in the bar afterwards.
• Sunday: if you can tear yourself away from the deluge of greeting cards, rose petals and cuddly toys, you might fancy taking a turn round the next PECO race, this one held at Roundhay Park in Leeds and starting at 11am. This is the last in the series before the relays, so it’s going to be emotional. Will Philippa finish this race? Will she even start it? Or will she treat the assembled crowds to a selection of her finest docker-like language? Some things we may never know, but all the information we do have can be found here: http://www.pecoxc.co.uk/pages/race5.html.
Emma’s Stretch of the Week
Here’s one I try to get you doing after intervals! Stand beside a friend or something else you can hold onto for balance! Place your ankle / foot on the opposite knee and slowly lower yourself to the ground as if you are sitting down into a chair. The lower you go the more stretch you will feel. Great stretch for the piriformis which can sometimes trap your sciatic nerve if it is tight, and also for the other muscles in your bum and around your hip.
(Chairman’s note: what on earth is a piriformis? I never knew I had one, let alone that I needed to stretch it. Still, every day’s a school day.)
Knaresborough Bed Race 2016
Sir Thomas Beecham once said that you should try everything once, apart from incest and folk dancing. I quite agree, although I’d be inclined to add Knaresborough Bed Race to the list. It really is the most traumatic, exhausting and challenging race, but still people go back for more year on year. And this is why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iCupWkM40.
There’s no guarantee what teams we’ll get in this year given that we have to go through a draw, but I envisage entering a few different teams. I’ll collate the names when we have them and try and work people into teams, so is all I’m after at the minute is expressions of interest. So if you too would like a chance to be thoroughly traumatised in front of several thousand inebriated crag rats (sorry, Steve), then please let me know ASAP: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Committee Meeting: Wednesday 10 February 2016
Oh not again. Still, has to be done I suppose. If you want anything discussed this week, you will let me know won’t you? I’d hate to think your petitions fell on deaf ears, and would much rather you sent them my way: email@example.com.
AGM: Thursday 18 February 2016
And nominations are now closed. Please do not call after the lines have closed as your vote will not be counted and you may still be charged. Thanks to those of you who stood for positions (although there aren’t any contested positions, so we don’t get the drama and excitement of a vote-off which is a shame as I thought we could do it on a Take Me Out theme. No likey no lighty! Never mind, maybe next year).
I really need you to be there for this peeps, as we need to get enough people in the bar to make the meeting quorate, and if we don’t achieve that then it becomes a right old bind to get anything done. There’ll be beer. There’ll be free pizza. There’ll be me. What more could you want?
Hope to see you in the Hockey Club bar for 8.30pm, and you can read all the relevant info here (it’s buttock-clenchingly dull, but it’s here if you want it): http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2016/01/16/agm-2016/.
A Word to the Wise
“The trouble with running is that by the time you realise you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin Jones
Have a good week, everyone, and enjoy pancake day on Tuesday. I wonder who’ll be crowned the champion tosser at Nidd Valley House this year?