Weekly Update: Does My Bum Look Big in This?

(TLDR. For those short of time…. club runs on Tuesday and Thursday are the gorge and the greenway respectively, while we have the Otley 10 on Wednesday night and the Kettlewell Fell Race on Thursday evening. Bed Race looms large for Saturday, and there are a few other bits about up and coming races, a committee meeting, and some wise words).


Hi everyone!


Well, the Knaresborough Bed Race is just around the corner. Yes, indeed, the big day is very nearly upon us and everyone here at Nidd Valley House is – as I am sure you might imagine – very excited. It’s like a Formula One garage down in the Mechanics Department, as  engineers study reams of data print outs, new tyres are being rolled out across the forecourt, and sparks fly from welding guns. Every second counts in the bed race, and our top team is doing everything to make sure we secure every advantage possible on the day. Things are equally as busy in the Costume & Makeup Department, as we have rolled out the dressing up box. Everyone is trying on a range of costumes ready for the parade and posing in front of the mirrors (no, Fingers, your bum does not look big in that…no, really, you look lovely…). The whole room is awash with dresses, sequins, glitter and statement pieces of jewellery. And that’s just the Men’s B Team. So while they have another twirl in front of the mirror, let’s take a look at the week ahead. 


The Week Ahead

On Tuesday, I’m going to suggest a trip down the Gorge. I know we do it often in the summer, but it’s good to make use of the light nights while we have them. Be at the club and good to go for 7pm, and it’s up the cycle track, under the viaduct, and along the river, coming up and back when you’ve had enough and want your tea. 


Oh, what fresh hell is this? It’s the Otley 10 and so, if you want those points in the club championship, you need to get yourself on the start line on Wednesday night and ready for that hill. Many have underestimated this one and have gone on to regret it, but if you fancy your chances then all the relevant info is here: https://tinyurl.com/6b8nfvcm. The entry is £15.50 and is only open for a few more hours, so you need to strike fast if you are not in already.


Thursday gives us the opportunity to enjoy a club run selected by Moira McTague. Moira suggests the Greenway, and it goes like this. Get yourself to the club for 7pm, and run out over the iron bridge and cycle track to Bilton Crossing. You can push all the way over the viaduct to Killinghall if you are feeling sparky, before heading back round Knox Mill and up the club. Alternatively, you can cut short before the viaduct, and loop back to the club. If it works for you, then it works for us. Drinks and inane chat in the bar afterwards.


Now we are properly into the summer racing season, there are plenty of evening fell races and this Thursday is no different. If you can get yourself to Kettlewell for a 7.30pm kick off, then the lovely little sausages from North Leeds Fell Runners can promise you a beautiful five miler with a bruising 1,800ft of climb for your troubles. The views will be spectacular, fell champs points will be up for grabs, and the pub will probably be open (Brian will find one, that’s for sure. He’s like a truffle pig for pints). Entry is £6 in advance, and transactions can be completed here: https://tinyurl.com/bdeffh37.


Our teams are locked in and loaded for the Bed Race on Saturday, but please go down to Knaresborough and support them. Sam Crebbin is captaining what looks like one of the strongest junior teams to ever attempt the course, so the very best of luck to them. Bed Racing stalwart Fingers Harris will be looking after the Men’s A Team, Kev Dalton will be keeping the Men’s B crew in line, and Emma Kicks has the Ladies Team all ready to rock and roll. The parade will be at 1pm, and the race itself gets going at 3pm. You wouldn’t want to miss it, and can find out more here: https://www.bedrace.co.uk/



Well, spank me on the bottom and call me Sally. Wasn’t the new route for the Evening League at Thirsk a much needed improvement on the tedium of previous years? No more running round a field next to discarded farm machinery as freight trains rumbled by, but this was a lovely run out along the Cleveland way and some great runs over the Vale of York as the sun was setting. God’s Own Country, indeed, so it’s little wonder we had some many Nidds out to tackle the five mile course. Captain Dazzler (29.17) was leading from the front (and I should expect nothing less), with Andy Todd (30.12), Matt Wilkinson (31.08) and Martin Lofthouse (31.47) never too far behind. Stephen Newbould (31.58) just sneaked in under the 32 minute barrier, while Loz Hawksworth (32.45), Sam Heathcoate (33.06), Nigel Scaife (33.27) and Kevin Clark (33.42) all gave their best and were rewarded with excellent times. Andrew Iddon (33.57) and Luke Scorer (34.33) were the next to show, while Kev Nicholas (34.49) finished his run and then got stuck into some finish line cheering. Seriously, you’ve never heard anyone yell “push, push, come on, one last big push” as loudly and passionately as our Kev. He’s like a bloody midwife, he really is.


Brian Hainsworth (34.53) just pipped Babs (34.55) to the line, while Jon Easton (35.25) had his work cut out holding Richard Evans (35.40) at bay. Paul Kent (36.02) had Sarah Staiano (36.05) and Jim Cook (37.36) nipping at his heels, while Jess Harby (39.34) gave Yours Truly (39.34) a run for his money, with His Lordship (39.36) and Chris Morris (39.54) bearing down. Rachel Mills (40.02), Rob Northfield (40.25), Roger Duckworth (40.25) and Karen Mills (41.08) were the next to show, before Martin Lucktonm (41.08) and Jane Evan (41.15) made it to the line. Despite bitching something chronic about having to run the first mile or so on tarmac, Fell Running Phil (41.20) soon cheered up when we got to the off-road section, and we were glad not to have the same moaning from Susie Mallet (41.23), Katharine Dolman (41.24), Alister King (42.03), and Hannah Percy (42.12).


Kimberley Grundy (42.16) was soon joined on the sprint finish by Guy Parker (42.58), Katie Coppack (43.00), Nadene Wilkinson (43.09), Alex Gudgeon (43.37), Moira McTague (43.47) and Chatty McChatface (44.50). Emily Wighton (43.51), Jemma Escreet (44.53), Chris Nelson (45.04) and Ursula Holmes (47.09) all proved themselves worthy of their black and gold colours, before we enjoyed seeing the happy and smiling Sarah Chalmers (48.27). Jane Wilkinson (48.42) managed to keep ahead of Nick Smith (50.25), while Michelle Smith (50.29) fought off a strong challenge from Graham Hyde (51.19). Liz Ahmed (51.26) was keeping it formal – she appears in the results as Elizabeth, so clearly feels that an event as prestigious as the Evening League warrants ones Sunday name – before the show was wrapped up in a strong fashion by Jill Hornsby (51.46), Mikle Kaye (55.34), Sarah Crawshaw (58.58), Sylvia Morten (also 58.58), and Fiona Robinson (1:02.54). The hugest of congratulations to you all.

Class photo. I really hate these things. I was hiding.


In the world of fell running, we have to make a bit of a fuss of Rob Northfield (30.39) and Susy Rhodes (37.15) who popped their fell running cherries when they raced the Otley Chevin Fell Race on Wednesday night. So it is a big well done to the two of them, and also to the other daft ‘apeths who decided to run up and down the Chevin with little regard for their own ankles: Martin Lofthouse (23.33), Russel Geraghty (29.48), Sarah Chalmers (38.33) and Graham Hyde (38.51).


On Friday, Roger Duckworth (1:10.31) took part in the seven mile Ilkley Trail Race, coming a strong 124th place out of 156 runners. Excellent stuff, Roger. Also on the subject of Nidds on their lonesome, spare a thought for Brian Hainsworth who was a proper billy-no-mates when he raced at the Austwick Amble on Thursday night. Brian (1:11.39) made easy work of the eight miles and 1,200ft of climb and hopes that next year someone will want to be his friend and go with him.


The big fell event this weekend was, of course, Pen-y-Ghent Fell Race on Saturday. By no means a race for the faint-hearted, Martin Lofthouse (1:04.45) was the first Nidd to show us how it is done, with Nigel Scaife (1:08.56) and Brian Hainsworth (1:12.57) both on top form. Emma David (1:20.36) got the top female points in the championships, denying Jane Evans (1:27.22) the top spot. Squeezed in between them like a rose between two thorns, we had another great result from Fell Running Phil (1:26.14). Chatty McChatface (1:36.24) and Sarah Chalmers (1:45.41) brought things home for the club.


Just before we turn to parkrun, we’ve just a couple more for you. Firstly, on Saturday Captain Dazzler (1:44.07) and Plippy Wilkinson (2:40.49) made easy work of the challenging Wharfedale Trail Half Marathon. Oon Sunday Kevin Clark (44.56) took part in the Crazy Cow 10k. I don’t know any more about it and, looking at the picture, I am not sure it is the race for me but there we are.

No, me neither.


And so to parkrun, where we find that Helen Cook is down in Australia. And while we pause to consider the somewhat arresting notion that Helen is actually upside down as I write this, let’s celebrate her (26.33) great time at the Centennial parkrun. Back facing the right way up, we have to find time to also celebrate with Kev Nicholas (20.53) at Horton Park, Alan Ward (27.56) at Workington, and Iain Scott (26.14) at Woodhouse Moor.

She was actually like this.


Richard Evans (25.12) was up in Middlesbrough – someone has to do it, I suppose – where he put down a cracking performance at Flatts Lane parkrun. Well, this is nominative determinism gone wrong isn’t it? They call a parkrun ‘Flatts Lane’ and it turns out to be an undulating off-road route. And yes, I know that we are talking ‘flatt’ and ‘flat’ but you really don’t need to write in. Anyway, let’s not get too distracted otherwise we will miss the times from Adam Kirk (17.48) and Lisa Gibson (28.33) who were down in Rothwell. I’m not sure what the Crebbins were doing so close to my ancestral seat of Fugill Towers, but it’s fair play to Sam Crebbin (20:30) who kicked his dad Nick’s (23.20) sorry backside into touch at Druridge Bay.  Last of the tourists is Andy Iddon (21.46) who took part in the Marple parkrun (if you’re taking notes, Marple is a town of 23,868 people near Stockport, lies along the Peak Forest Canal, boasts a fine array of attractions including the Goyt Aqaduct and the Regent Cinema, and has not one, but two, brass bands).


I digress. Kev Dalton (20.10), Josh Bryer (21.16), Simon Cocker (21.18), Jeremy Leggings (22.38), and Harry Jele (22.41) brought the curtain up on the show at Harrogate, ably followed by some of our finest Nidders: JAmes Coulthhard (22.52), Phil Ventress (23.59), Laura Francis (24.34) and Rob Northfield (24.35). Eleanor Easton (24.51) continued the venerable tradition of children beating parents, leaving her dad Jon (24.54) trailing in her wake. Roger Duckworth (26.28), Sophia Khan (27.10), Emily Wighton (27.36) – who is 18, and not 21, as previously advertised – Philippa Thompson (28.18) and Rosemary Thompson (28.19) were the next up for the squad, while Jessica Beaumount (28.46) was the first of three Beaumonts to see the finishing funnel. Yvonne Skelton (28.54), Rachel Mills (29.30), Lynsey Barraclough (29.38), Nick Smith (30.20) and Lorna Eley (30.21) were the next Nidders to get their barcodes scanned, while Captain Sarah (30.21), Debbie Dilasser (30.50), Sue Rogers (33.34), Janet Jarvis (36.37) and Mile Kay (36.38) were next to finish. If you want to know who the missing Beaumonts are, then I can tell you that Chloe Beaumont (39.39) and dad John (39.46) were the next to appear, with Chloe being the third Niddette of the week to beat their dad. Excellent stuff, I say. Martin Weeks (41.50) wrapped up proceedings for us on the Stray.


Andy Todd (18.52) was, all too predictably, the first Nidd to finish at Fountains, with strong performances from Pram Man Braddon (21.14), Karen Milles (28.53) and the ever lovely Marcos Montana (29.22). At Conyngham Hall, Liam Escott (23.19) led the the black and gold troops from the front, with Fiona Deacon (24.34),Guy Parker (27.58),  Moira McTague (28.39) and Fiona Robinson (39.58) all on top form. As if we could not love them enough.


The life of a man it is but a span / It’s like a morning flower / We’re here today, tomorrow we’re gone / We’re dead all in one hour: samfugill@gmail.com


Booking Now Open

For the fellies, we’ve got Bucken Pike fell race on 18 Jun 2022. It has sold out now, but they are operating a waiting list. You can always chance your luck and see if you can get a last minute place: https://tinyurl.com/2krr4mf6


The Staveley Stampede is back on 26 Jun 2022 and a lovely little opportunity to grab some championship points without having to drive blooming miles to the start line. It’s also only a 10k so you won’t be out until the late afternoon. £16 will get you a number, and all the gen is right here:  https://tinyurl.com/337mwz25


On 10 Jul 2022, we’re down in Ilkley for the half marathon (again, point for the championship are available. It’s a bit like Harrogate really, so you’ll feel quite at home. Lots of posh people, an abundance of 4×4 cars, and a Betty’s, that kind of thing. Like any half marathon, you’ll be tackling a 13.1 mile course, so a bit of training is probably the order of the day. But all that training will be for nowt if you won’t get yourself entered, and to do that you need to be here: https://tinyurl.com/2am9tsr4.


Committee Meeting: 15 Jun 2022

Yep, I know. I couldn’t be happier. If there is anything to which you’d like us to bring our collective wisdom (shouldn’t take long, then), then you only need to let secretary Plippy know. Drop her a line, why don’t you? She doesn’t bite: pwilkinson79@hotmail.com.  


Word to the Wise

Here is a little cracker from Fell Running Phil while we were applauding and cheering the runners in over the line at the Evening League. 


“Oh, Fiona will be ages yet. Don’t wait. I put five hours on the parking…”


I shall let Fiona deal with you, Phil.


A final set of wise words come from Debbie Gibson and Martin Lofthouse.

Martin: “What have you been doing for the Jubilee, Debbie?”

Debbie: “I have been on the street all week”

Martin: “Well, you have to make a living somehow…”


I shall leave it there. Have a great week. His Lordship loves you.


Sam x


Posted in General News.