Weekly Update: What did Warren have that was long, lonely and hard?

Good evening!


This is your captain speaking. Yes, I’m back here on the bridge of the HMS Nidd Valley as we prepare to hoist the anchor and make sail. Everyone is, as you can imagine, very excited as we get ready to embark on the first voyage of the new year. We’ve got the full crew here: Chief Petty Officer Philippa has spent the day checking all the supplies, Seaman Seaman is faffing about up the rigging, and Fingers The Cabin Boy has been hard at it scrubbing the decks. We’re all good to go! Ahoy my hearties! It’s the treacherous unchartered waters of the results.



And we first make landfall at Temple Newsam, where we’ve had three of our crew mates running in a gruelling 10 mile race earlier today. Jon Easton (1:19:36) – for some inexplicable reason running as James Easton and not affiliated with the club, don’t ask me why – was first home for the club, followed by the correctly named and affiliated Jim Cook (1:26:41). I tell you something, it isn’t often we see Christine Holleran, but it is always nice when we do, especially when she (1:30:39) such brilliant times. Congratulations to you all.


Right, don’t take it out on me. I don’t know why the women’s course at yesterday’s Yorkshire XC Championships was a few laps shorter than the men’s. I didn’t plan the route, and can only conclude that the organisers were of the opinion that it would be too much for the fairer sex to contend with given that their embroidery-addled minds were too full of things like little kittens to be worrying about getting too muddy, I don’t know. Anyway, take it up with them. Despite a few commendable protest absences at the flagrant sexism, we still had a good few showings from the ladies on the muddy course up at Lightwater Valley. Fiona Deacon (40:42) was first Nidd round the roller-coaster course by a good clear margin, with Hannah Peagram (47:57) gaining ground behind Sarah Hughan (47:17) on every turn. Sarah Chalmers (55:29) put in a sterling effort to conclude the ladies team’s effort, securing them a final position of 28/29. Well done!


And to the men and their longer course. Ever-speedy, Matt Wilkinson (40:35) kick started proceedings for us, with the Men’s Captain Martin Lofthouse (42:29) battling hard in the mud for the finish line. You’ve got to love Andy Todd (44:14), haven’t you? He’s like the Duracell Bunny of Nidd Valley. He just keeps going, and going, and going, even all the way to the end of a tough cross country course. That said, Adam Kirk (44:56) was never too far behind him in what was a tight race, with Mike Deacon (47:40) pulling out all the stops for the team. Who’s next? It’s Andrew Peagram (48:40), Jim Cook (52:37), Chris Beattie (55:14) and Marcos Montana (58:25). And the final position for the men? They took 23rd place on the table out of 33 teams. Nice work, chaps.

Looking good, Mr B!

Looking good, Mr B!

And we come, after such a tumultuous voyage, to the safe harbour of the parkrun results. Paul Manning has been down in the Australian Capital of Canberra to take part in (what is, in my opinion, the finest named parkrun in history) the Tuggeranong parkrun. For those of you that are interested, Tuggeranong is the traditional home of the indigenous Ngunawal Tribe, has a population of some 87,000 people, and the town centre is built alongside a rather arresting lake. For those of you that just want me to cut to the chase, Paul (24:23) finished 66th out of 360 runners.

Anyone know who Paul's new special friend is?

Anyone know who Paul’s new special friend is?

Much less glamorous, Fiona Robinson (32:48) took part in the Rotherham parkrun (and by less glamourous, I mean Rotherham and not Fiona. She’s incredibly glamourous, as I’m sure you know). Marcos Montana (25:50) was up at Fountains with Michelle Dinsdale (30:43), while Neil Wright (29:48) had no one to keep him company at Wetherby, the poor thing. Also on her lonesome, we’ve got Sue Reast (29:50) up at the Dalby Forest parkrun.


As ever, most of the action is on the Stray, and so we best get ourselves up there to see Maurice Kelly (21:46), Martin Lofthouse (22:00), Ben Baird (22:44) and Alex Crowton (22:54) lead the troops home. Sue Simpson (23:21) was the first Niddette over the line and managed not to get herself locked in the bog, so that’s a relief. Matt Wilkinson (24:02) had his foot off the gas in preparation for the XC later in the day, with Mark Armstrong (24:07) and Mike Benson (24:17) tucking in nicely behind him. You’ve got to love Dave Prince (24:48) haven’t you, but also spare some loving for Adam Kirk (24:56), Tony LC (27:02) and Christina Taylor (27:44). We’ve got four superb results to finish things off this week, and they come courtesy of Rebecca Ventress (29:29), Jeff Walker (29:48), Kirsty O’Donnell (21:26) and parkrun veteran Mandy Smith (38:40). Well done to you all.


I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm / Your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm / Yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new / In city and in forest they smiled like me and you / But let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie / Your eyes are soft with sorrow / Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.


The Week Ahead

If it’s a Tuesday, it’s intervals, but you must know that by now. And this week’s vomit-fest will be led by Sarah Hughan down on St Catherine’s Road. Meet at the Hockey Club at 7pm for some drills in the carpark before we head down for a warm-up job and the main event. Get ready to feel the burn, kids. You know it’ll be worth it.


Alex Patrickson is one very lucky boy as he has got to choose Thursday’s club run. The lucky scamp. Anyway, he has suggested that we run the Duchy Estate, which seems a capital idea if you ask me. So we’ll meet at the Hockey Club for 7pm, and then head down Skipton Road and onto Kings Road, through Springfield and onto Ripon Road. Weave your way through the Duchy and onto Harlow Moor. From there, you can head back down Otley Road or extend round the middle-class suburbia of HG2. The choice is yours, and we’ll be blotting out the whole sorry incident with a few pints in the bar afterwards. It’d be lovely to see you.


There don’t seem to be any local races this weekend, either on the fells or on tarmac, but if you’re heading out for a spin (and if not, why not?), then why not let a few fellow Nidders know so that they can come and interrupt your solitary run and get in the way?


Committee Meeting: 18 January 2017

We’ve got Chairman-elect Dan coming along for his first security briefing, and so it’s going to be an interesting meeting. Mainly banter, I should expect. We’ve got a lot to get through, including agreeing the races for the championships, sorting out our bed race entries, and having a last-minute panic about the Awards Night. If you want to add to our problems, then you need to speak to our esteemed secretary: enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.


Awards Night: 28 January 2017

There’s still tickets left for this most prestigious night here at Nidd Valley House. It’s normally quite a good night, and I’ve got a couple of little surprises up my sleeve to make sure it all goes with a bang. As ever, everyone is very excited. Dave and I have spent the weekend doing a wine tasting, the butlers are busy polishing the silverware, and the two Sarah H has been working her way through a stack of taster menus. You won’t want to miss it, especially when it is only going to cost you £20 a head. There’ll be food, wine, dancing and plenty of silliness, so we hope you’ll be able to join us. There’s a Facebook group on the go with plenty of irrelevant information: https://www.facebook.com/events/1803174683282877/, and tickets are available from Judy G: membership@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

Awards Night: champagne, cocaine and hookers as standard...

Awards Night: champagne, cocaine and hookers as standard…

AGM: 16 February 2017

I’ll be sending out my one sensible email of the year in a couple of weeks with all the relevant info for the AGM. We need to be quorate to have a meeting, so if you want to get rid of me then you need to make sure that you’re there. There’ll be free pizza too to sweeten the bitter pill of a financial report. Please save the date! We’ll be taking formal nominations for posts soon, but all positions are up for grabs, even if the current incumbent is trying to secure another term. Have a think about whether you’d like to be involved, why don’t you?


Word to the Wise

It isn’t often that I would deign to feature in this section of the email, but here is an excerpt from some texting between Warren Lowcock and I following his marathon training run yesterday.


Sam: How was the run?

Warren: Long, lonely and painful.

Sam: Sounds like my sex life.

Warren: Word to the wise! You better report it correctly.

Sam: This week’s email is entitled ‘What did Warren have that was long, lonely and hard?’

Warren: Ha ha you better not I get enough funny looks as it is.

Sam: The NVRR ladies will be very impressed.

Warren: It was a long, painful, solo effort.

Sam: Did you have any power spurts?

Warren: I’m not talking to you anymore. I forgot the golden rule: never talk before email time.


Sleep tight, kids.


Sam x

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