Weekly Update: Brian’s Little Sausage

(TLDR. For those short of time…. Tuesday is a club run to Knaresborough, and Thursday is down the gorge, both leaving at 7pm from the club house. There’s an alternative off-road run from Ripley at 7pm on Thursday, too. Nowt on at the weekend).


Greetings, Earthlings,


Well the clocks have jumped forward, and we are all feeling very summery here at Nidd Valley House. Everybody is very excited, as I am sure you can imagine. Dave is raking out the last of the leaves from the outdoor swimming pool, Plippy and Jane are mixing the pina coladas, and Captain Sarah is helping Dazzler with his suntan lotion. His Lordship is the very essence of sartorial elegance this season, and looks quite the picture with his striped blazer and straw boater. Fingers the Deckchair Attendant has set up his stall on the western lawn, and he’s very excited as we’ve told him that he can keep any takings as part of his pocket money.


And as we shelter from the blazing sunlight and stifling heat, let’s take a look at the results for this week, shall we?



And we start up on t’moors, where three Nidds took part in the Hardmoors 55 race from Guisborough to Helmsley. This challenging course takes in some of the most beautiful scenery and steepest hills on the North Yorkshire Moors and, as the name suggests, is a whopping 55 miles long. Matt Wilkinson (11:34:27) was the first Nidd to make it back, but it wasn’t too long before his club mate Jim Cook (12:22:56) joined him on the finish line. Then it was the turn of Matt’s wife Plippy (13:35:11) to make her triumphant entrance into Helmsley. Now, those of you that know our Plippy know that she can get a little grumpy on a race from time to time and, had Matt completed the full course with her, I was going to nominate him for a superstar award. In any event, these three faced down whatever demons they were up against, nailed great times, and did Team Nidd proud. Well done to you all.


Talking of happily married couples, it was lovely to see that Mr & Mr Nidd Valley, Phil Ventress and Brian Hainsworth, have been out on the moors and competing in the Blubberhouses 25. Now I’m a bit confused, as Phil’s (4:30:19) strava gives a different reading to Brian’s (4:25:00), asI cannot imagine for one second that they would let one another out of their sight. Not that it matters, the ground was drier than usual and so they didn’t take their testicles bog snorkelling as they had done in previous years, and they enjoyed the smörgåsbord of sandwiches, cheese, cake, and sausages from the food stations that characterise these LDWA races. A cracking effort, lads.

Just lovely.

And so we turn our attention to parkrun. Alex Leslie (25:57) was down in Lichfield, and if you want to know why then you shall have to ask him yourself. Phil (29:17) and Fiona Robinson (39:53) were in New Earswick, Laura Francis (24:53) was in Bramley, and James Braddon (21:30) was in Keswick. Ian Foy (23:59) was not in Keswick, but had gone down to Wetherby (I assume this was the town parkrun, not the one in the young offenders institution).


Alan Ward (29:06) was back in Workington, and Andy Iddon (22:26) popped over the hill to Skipton. Iain Scott (26:42) worked his magic at Woodhouse Moor, Simon Cocker (21:15) was flying the flag at Ipswich, and Adam Kirk (18:37) was five seconds behind the finisher at Wakefield Thorns.


They say church attendances are dwindling, but we had a larger than usual congregation at Fountains Abbey this weekend, and it gives us no end of pleasure to celebrate the achievements of Andy Harris (18:19), Andy Todd (19:02), John Mitton (23:57), Damien Handslip (24:26), Jane Evans (25:48), Babs (25:50), Roger Duckworth (26:53),Marcos Montana (28:12), John Mallet (28:29), and Ellie Deacon (28:31). A massive well done to you all. His Lordship loves you.


Down at Conyngham Hall, a newly rehabilitated Christine Holleran (27:19) was the first showing for Team Nidd, with Fraser Dobinson (27:48), Debbie Gibson (30:22), Michelle Smith (36:48) and Jessica Webster (44:26) also recording impressive times..


Now, I got a gentle rebuke from Rosemary Thompson after last week’s email, as her time was not in the write up as her result due to a barcode malfunction at Harrogate parkrun. So, before I direct your attention to this week’s Harrogate results, I’m more than happy to set the record straight and let you know that Rosemary (27:50) did her laps of the Stray last week with the usual athleticism, flair and panache that we have come to expect from her.


With those wrongs righted, we can turn to celebrate the achievements of Kev Dalton (20:14), Nigel Scaife (21:07) and junior Sam Crebbin (21:37) who were the first three Nidds over the line at Harrogate. Matt Rickard (21:49) just held Dan Eagling (21:52), John Easton (22:03) and Nick Crebbin (22:13) at bay for the win. His Lordship (24:03) was looking as magnificent as ever as he led Rachel Mills (24:46), Chandra Shekar (25:38), Emily Wighton (26:04), and Captain Sarah (26:10) to the line. It’s always a delight to see Karen Mills (27:08) out running, and yesterday was no exception, and we can certain say the same for Sue Simpson (27:28), Lynsey Barraclough (30:07), Bec Carman (30:11), Kirsty O’Donnell (31:30) and Lorna Eley (32:33). Natalia Lancosova (33:35) and Tony LC (33:59) round up the Nidd performance, and this week’s results write up, in spectacular fashion. A very well done to you all.


The tax man’s taken all my dough / and left me in my stately home / lazin’ on a sunny afternoon: samfugill@gmail.com


The Week Ahead

Well, that’s it for the road intervals for another season, and so we have a few weeks of two club runs per week until the evening racing season kicks into gear. So where does this leave us, I hear you cry? Well, on Tuesday, let’s head out over the iron bridge and along the Beryl Burton to Knaresborough where – unless I am very much mistaken – the Ladies Bed Race team will be doing their first training session. We’re nothing if not encouraging here at Nidd Valley House, and it would be lovely to go and see how they are getting on. You can come back to the club via Waterside and Forest Moor (I don’t think we’ll have enough daylight to come over via the golf course, but don’t let me stop you if you think you can make it). As usual, meet at the club and be good to run for 7pm.


Don’t tell Dave just yet, as he gets all giddy and over-excited, but on Thursday we will take our first spin down the Gorge. We’ll leave the club house at 7pm, but the fading light will make it tricky to get too far. I suggest that we could manage a run  up towards the viaduct, dropping into the gorge, and coming up for air again on the path that leads towards the Gardeners Arms. Now, as Sam Smith pubs have banned many of the hallmarks of a modern pub – phones, fun, paying in decimalised currency – we’ll head to the bar at the Hockey Club afterwards where you can pay with contactless and stare at your phones without fear of recrimination.


Now, if that doesn’t tickle your fancy but you can get yourselves to Ripley car park for 7pm on Thursday, our Jezza will be leading another trail run round Cayton Gill. The scenery is lovely, and he’ll be full of a wide range of fascinating facts. He’s like a history lesson in leggings, he really is. All are welcome and the pace will be social and steady away, so you might want to grab your hi-viz and headtorch just in case.


There’s nothing in the club championships this weekend, but on Sunday we have a band of intrepid Nidds going into battle at the Manchester Marathon. Spare a thought for Kev Dalton, Captain Dazzler, Martin Lofthouse, Kev Nicholas, Fingers Harris, Nige Scaife, Jess Harby, Sam Heathcoate, Lloyd Brown, Matt Wilkinson, Karen Mills, and Kev Clarke. I’ve also heard on the Nidd Valley wire that Chris Morris is marathoning in Somerset, so it’s a good luck to him and to all of the Manchester massive innit.


10 Apr 2022: A Very Important Gentleman

I cannot think of one person in the world who does not love, adore and admire Alan Harby. Really, I can’t. I suspect it will only be a matter of time before some scientists come up with irrefutable proof that Alan is the greatest Nidder of all time. It will become known as Harby’s Law and will be taught in schools and everything. Anyway, Alan is going to be 85 years old the weekend after next, and we’re having a run to celebrate. We’ll leave the Hockey Club at 12pm on Sunday 10 Apr 2022 and run the Gorge down to Knaresborough. We’ll collect the great man himself en route, and arrive in a jubilant mood at Gracious St. Methodist Church at 2pm where there will be more tea and cake than you’ll know what to do with. We’ll firm up the details in next Weekly Update but, if you are able to help with cake baking and such like, please let Fiona Deacon know: mjfjdeacon@sky.com. She’d love to hear from you, and will help you sort out your lemon drizzle from your victoria sponge. 


Evening League

Look, whatever hang ups or insecurities you have about racing, you need to get yourself registered for the league. Every single finisher, regardless of pace, accumulates points for their club. So don’t go hiding your athletic light under the Nidd Valley bushel (and no, I have no idea what a bushel is either) – get signed up, get your Nidd top on, and get yourself on the start line. Go get ‘em, tigers: https://racebest.com/races/2zeut.


Committee Meeting

We’ve got our next teacher training day on Wednesday. If there is something you need to say, you don’t need to shout. Quietly raise your hand and Mrs Wilkinson will be with you presently: pwilkinson79@hotmail.com


30 Apr 2022: DEC Ukraine Fundraiser

In a bid to try and do something in response to the unfolding horrors in Ukraine that feels more proactive than staring at the TV in abject despair, we’re going to be having a quiz night at the Hockey Club as a fundraiser for the Disasters Emergency Committee. So we’ll be pulling out the stops and Putin on the Ritz (see what I did there? Oh, never mind.) with questions a plenty, pie and peas, a few beers and a good laugh. More details to 

follow, but please do save the date.



Those Biblical scholars among you will know that the love of money is the root of all evil. So shed yourself of your pennies, give them to us, be purged of your sin, and treat yourself to another year with the most marvellous running club on Planet Earth: https://tinyurl.com/4dakbjvp


Word to the Wise

This week’s wise words come from Brian Hainsworth, sharing his insights on the importance of quality nutrition while racing:


“I love a little sausage on the moor” 


And I’m sure you’re not the only one, Bri.


So while he’s away enjoying that, it’s goodbye from me and everyone else here at NVH. Have a grand week.


Sam x


Posted in General News.