Hope you are all really well and enjoyed the Awards Night. It goes down as one of the most surreal evenings of my entire life. Rachael and I both felt like the condemned, waiting for the meal to finish before we did our turn. I’ve never seen someone chew a desert quite so much. The anxiety almost killed her, the poor thing. As Rachael says, it could be worse, at least next year we’ll be able to eat the meal. Anyway, less of me. And less of her. Thanks to all of you who came. You make Team Nidd a really special group of people (yeah, ‘special’) and, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether you won an award of not. No one really cares about those things. It’s about getting out there, getting the miles in, and enjoying running with a group of like-minded daft buggers. Thanks for being part of it.
Happy. Or drunk. Maybe both.
Well, spank me on the bottom and call me Shirley, it appears that there are no results this week other than the parkrun results. Could be worse, I suppose, at least this way I’ll get to bed before midnight. Let’s have a little look and see what you have in store this week.
We’ve got Ben Baird (21:42) down at the parkrun at Bedford. God, I love Ben, I really do. But not in the biblical sense, obviously. Anyway, I digress. We’ve also got Fiona Robinson (34:11) down running at the Bramley parkrun, clearly making quick progress as she didn’t want to let her hubcaps out of her sight for too long. Up at Fountains, you could see Andy Todd (20:06) lead the troops home and Mike Deacon (22:22) nail a pleasingly symmetrical time. Jamie Dilasser (22:47), Dave Prince (25:54), Debbie Dilasser (28:58) and Michelle Dinsdale (30:31) complete the monastic roll call.
I’ve no idea how Martin Lofthouse (18:53), Matt Rickard (19:54) and Adam Kirk (19:59) managed to get under the sub-20 marker given the conditions out on the Stray. The mud was horrific and it was all we could do to stop ourselves going arse over tit. Andrew Peagram (21:21) and Jon Easton (21:44) were the next to follow, while yours truly (22:14) found himself being lectured by a Donald Trump supporter. And to think I was having so much fun as it was. Next up, we’ve got David Shores (22:45), Mark Armstrong (23:25), Sue Simpson (23:44) and Sarah Hughan (25:03), before proceedings were concluded by Jeff Walker (27:31), Ewa Scott (29:29) and Hannah Peagram (32:38)
And I lift my glass to the awful truth / Which you can’t reveal to the ears of youth / Except to say it isn’t worth a dime / And the whole damn place goes crazy twice / And it’s once for the devil and once for Christ / But the boss don’t like these dizzy heights / We’re busted in the blinding lights / Of closing time: firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Week Ahead
If you missed Jon’s interval session last week then don’t fret yourself, he’s back in action on Tuesday. If you want to get a piece of him, then get yourself down to the Hockey Club and be ready to run for 7pm, or meet up with him at the end of St Catherine’s Road for about 7.10pm. He’s looking forward to seeing you. Unfortunately, I have to work up in Catterick late so won’t be able to join you. Social work sucks. I don’t recommend it.
But I will be back in action on Thursday, and am rather excited to see that we are running the Kings Road route. It’s a great one this, starting at the Hockey Club for 7pm. From there, it is out onto Skipton Road and down Kings Road. Once you get to the Crown Hotel, push on up Cold Bath Road and from there you can hang back towards the club, or push on down Pannal Ash Road and Leadhall Lane. Pints and awkward silences in the bar afterwards.
I can’t see any races on the calendar this weekend, but don’t think that gives you an excuse to do bugger all. Oh, not at all! Get yourself, have a cheeky little tank and remember to put out a shout and get some other Nidds to join you.
I’ve had my knuckles rapped for not getting the club championships schedule out to you last week. Sorry about that folks. Anyway, you’ll find it here: http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2017/01/30/club-championships-2017/. It’s probably worth noting that some of the dates are still provisional, but this should give you an idea of what is going on and get some races booked.
Goodbye Judy: 10 February 2017
So this is it. We come to the parting of the ways. Mike and Judy are going onto pastures anew in the Lake District. Nidd Valley House won’t be the same without them. If you would like to go along to their farewell meal at Lucia’s next week, then there is only one person you should be speaking to and that is none other than Fiona Deacon. You’ll find her here: email@example.com.
AGM: 16 February 2017
If you are still considering making a grab for power, then you have until midnight on Thursday to let Sarah Hughan know: firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d really encourage you to think about standing for any role, and certainly don’t think that a lack of experience should stop you getting involved. It didn’t stop me. Anyway, even if you don’t want to stand, please try and get yourself there. We need as many people as we can. More details here: http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2017/01/18/agm-2017/.
Knaresborough Bed Race: 10 June 2017
Fancy it? Go on, you know you want to: email@example.com.
By Popular Demand
For those who were lucky enough to be somewhere else…
It’s time for speech, isn’t it?
It’s a worry I’m singing, isn’t it?
And because I’m afraid that I can’t even hold a tune,
I’m standing before you, shaking in fear, terror, and doom.
I am reviewing the year that we’ve had,
And all those things that make me glad to be a Nidder,
All of those races, relays, and long runs,
Are just some of the things I shall consider:
Think of Evening League and bed racing,
Then marathons, parkrun pacing,
And in the club champs, PBs smashing,
In the Mob Match, Striders trashing!
In the fell champs, getting mucky!
You’ve so much choice, you’re so lucky!
I wonder at what point we should begin.
So where to begin? I know where.
Down by the Nidd, that is where.
And I wonder, with that said, if you are able to guess?
It’s a chance to get sweaty, get drunk, and always cross dress.
I am reviewing the Knaresborough Bed Race,
And the two teams that we sent up Castle Ings,
Along the High Street, down past Bond End,
And through the River Nidd, but don’t forget these things:
Most importantly, your swimming trunks,
Although you’re dressed like Buddhist monks,
And in the river, should you choke,
Remember, then, to drink some coke,
But even that won’t do the trick,
For at the end, you’ll still feel sick!
This year I think we’ll get dressed up again.
Time for the song’s next section!
Time to admire Dave’s erection!
As we gathered excited, assembled on the village green,
What followed next was the highlight of our year as a team.
I am reviewing our Mob Match Victory,
When as a team we brought the Mob Match Trophy back!
That glorious Sunday, we raced that 10k,
With our faces painted gold and painted black.
So this, then, is our strategy,
Which guarantees us victory,
Thanks to the generosity,
Of this: your loving committee,
The trick, I think, is plain to see:
Get Dave to pay the entry fee!
This year I think we’ll the win the race again.
Who can I mention? I know who!
Their achievements are great. Yes, it’s true.
And I’m quite sure that you would really love to hear,
Of the great runs that we’ve ran over this past year.
I am reviewing, your achievements,
Over hill and road and track and fell and trail,
And please excuse me, if I mention,
You within the rhyming couplets of my tale.
For starters, I cannot resist,
To mention Matt on Everest,
From park runners out on the Stray,
To Carol on the Pennine Way,
And climbing high on Lakeland Ground,
Emma on the Bob Graham Round.
I wonder what you have in store this year.
I am very sorry, if I’ve missed you.
Don’t forget this: I love you, too.
But if I listed each and every run then I really would fear,
That you’d be sat there bored out your brains at the start of next year.
But in reviewing, the year that we’ve had,
There are some words of thanks I want to say,
To all the people, to whom I’m grateful,
For the help that they do give in their in their own way,
So think back to November, when,
Matt directed Guy Fawkes 10,
And thankyou to our coaches three,
And then, of course, the committee,
And lastly thanks to all of you,
For all those other things you do,
You’ve made Nidd Valley House a special place.
We come to the end, what a relief!
It’s time to sign off, I’ll keep it brief.
For although you’ve been sitting and smiling politely thus far,
I know that you’re itching to go form an orderly queue at the bar.
I’ve been reviewing the year that we’ve had,
And I want to say I’m grateful for your time,
I hope it’s helped, that you’ve been drinking,
As you’ve sat and listened to my tuneless rhyme,
But now’s the time to leave the show,
I’m sorry that I have to go,
And now I’m done, you know, I think,
I’m feeling ready for a drink!
So that’s it, kids: I’m outta here!
Can someone get me a cold beer?
This year I think I’ll leave it all to Dan.
Word to the Wise
Some of you might recall Christine Jones taking a tumble at the intervals session last week. And that was just the warm up. Anyway, ever the concerned and loving Chairman, I sent a text to her and ask if she was ok and whether the ankle was holding up. And the reply is a warning to all of us about the dangers of predictive text:
“Hi Sam, it’s very sore but I can still gobble so that’s good…”
Whether or not Bill is benefiting from Christine’s special skills, I can’t say.
See you around…