Weekly Update: Chewing pudding…

Evening all!

 

Hope you are all really well and enjoyed the Awards Night. It goes down as one of the most surreal evenings of my entire life. Rachael and I both felt like the condemned, waiting for the meal to finish before we did our turn. I’ve never seen someone chew a desert quite so much. The anxiety almost killed her, the poor thing. As Rachael says, it could be worse, at least next year we’ll be able to eat the meal. Anyway, less of me. And less of her. Thanks to all of you who came. You make Team Nidd a really special group of people (yeah, ‘special’) and, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether you won an award of not. No one really cares about those things. It’s about getting out there, getting the miles in, and enjoying running with a group of like-minded daft buggers. Thanks for being part of it.

Happy. Or drunk. Maybe both.

Happy. Or drunk. Maybe both.

 

Results

Well, spank me on the bottom and call me Shirley, it appears that there are no results this week other than the parkrun results. Could be worse, I suppose, at least this way I’ll get to bed before midnight. Let’s have a little look and see what you have in store this week.

 

We’ve got Ben Baird (21:42) down at the parkrun at Bedford. God, I love Ben, I really do. But not in the biblical sense, obviously. Anyway, I digress. We’ve also got Fiona Robinson (34:11) down running at the Bramley parkrun, clearly making quick progress as she didn’t want to let her hubcaps out of her sight for too long. Up at Fountains, you could see Andy Todd (20:06) lead the troops home and Mike Deacon (22:22) nail a pleasingly symmetrical time. Jamie Dilasser (22:47), Dave Prince (25:54), Debbie Dilasser (28:58) and Michelle Dinsdale (30:31) complete the monastic roll call.

 

I’ve no idea how Martin Lofthouse (18:53), Matt Rickard (19:54) and Adam Kirk (19:59) managed to get under the sub-20 marker given the conditions out on the Stray. The mud was horrific and it was all we could do to stop ourselves going arse over tit. Andrew Peagram (21:21) and Jon Easton (21:44) were the next to follow, while yours truly (22:14) found himself being lectured by a Donald Trump supporter. And to think I was having so much fun as it was. Next up, we’ve got David Shores (22:45), Mark Armstrong (23:25), Sue Simpson (23:44) and Sarah Hughan (25:03), before proceedings were concluded by Jeff Walker (27:31), Ewa Scott (29:29) and Hannah Peagram (32:38)

 

And I lift my glass to the awful truth / Which you can’t reveal to the ears of youth / Except to say it isn’t worth a dime / And the whole damn place goes crazy twice / And it’s once for the devil and once for Christ / But the boss don’t like these dizzy heights / We’re busted in the blinding lights / Of closing time: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

The Week Ahead

If you missed Jon’s interval session last week then don’t fret yourself, he’s back in action on Tuesday. If you want to get a piece of him, then get yourself down to the Hockey Club and be ready to run for 7pm, or meet up with him at the end of St Catherine’s Road for about 7.10pm. He’s looking forward to seeing you. Unfortunately, I have to work up in Catterick late so won’t be able to join you. Social work sucks. I don’t recommend it.

 

But I will be back in action on Thursday, and am rather excited to see that we are running the Kings Road route. It’s a great one this, starting at the Hockey Club for 7pm. From there, it is out onto Skipton Road and down Kings Road. Once you get to the Crown Hotel, push on up Cold Bath Road and from there you can hang back towards the club, or push on down Pannal Ash Road and Leadhall Lane. Pints and awkward silences in the bar afterwards.

 

I can’t see any races on the calendar this weekend, but don’t think that gives you an excuse to do bugger all. Oh, not at all! Get yourself, have a cheeky little tank and remember to put out a shout and get some other Nidds to join you.

 

Club Championships

I’ve had my knuckles rapped for not getting the club championships schedule out to you last week. Sorry about that folks. Anyway, you’ll find it here: http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2017/01/30/club-championships-2017/. It’s probably worth noting that some of the dates are still provisional, but this should give you an idea of what is going on and get some races booked.

 

Goodbye Judy: 10 February 2017

So this is it. We come to the parting of the ways. Mike and Judy are going onto pastures anew in the Lake District. Nidd Valley House won’t be the same without them. If you would like to go along to their farewell meal at Lucia’s next week, then there is only one person you should be speaking to and that is none other than Fiona Deacon. You’ll find her here: mjfjdeacon@sky.com.

 

AGM: 16 February 2017

If you are still considering making a grab for power, then you have until midnight on Thursday to let Sarah Hughan know: enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk. I’d really encourage you to think about standing for any role, and certainly don’t think that a lack of experience should stop you getting involved. It didn’t stop me. Anyway, even if you don’t want to stand, please try and get yourself there. We need as many people as we can. More details here: http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2017/01/18/agm-2017/.

 

Knaresborough Bed Race: 10 June 2017

Fancy it? Go on, you know you want to: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

By Popular Demand

For those who were lucky enough to be somewhere else…

 

It’s time for speech, isn’t it?

It’s a worry I’m singing, isn’t it?

And because I’m afraid that I can’t even hold a tune,

I’m standing before you, shaking in fear, terror, and doom.

 

I am reviewing the year that we’ve had,

And all those things that make me glad to be a Nidder,

All of those races, relays, and long runs,

Are just some of the things I shall consider:

Think of Evening League and bed racing,

Then marathons, parkrun pacing,

And in the club champs, PBs smashing,

In the Mob Match, Striders trashing!

In the fell champs, getting mucky!

You’ve so much choice, you’re so lucky!

I wonder at what point we should begin.

 

So where to begin? I know where.

Down by the Nidd, that is where.

And I wonder, with that said, if you are able to guess?

It’s a chance to get sweaty, get drunk, and always cross dress.

 

I am reviewing the Knaresborough Bed Race,

And the two teams that we sent up Castle Ings,

Along the High Street, down past Bond End,

And through the River Nidd, but don’t forget these things:

Most importantly, your swimming trunks,

Although you’re dressed like Buddhist monks,

And in the river, should you choke,

Remember, then, to drink some coke,

But even that won’t do the trick,

For at the end, you’ll still feel sick!

This year I think we’ll get dressed up again.

 

Time for the song’s next section!

Time to admire Dave’s erection!

As we gathered excited, assembled on the village green,

What followed next was the highlight of our year as a team.

 

I am reviewing our Mob Match Victory,

When as a team we brought the Mob Match Trophy back!

That glorious Sunday, we raced that 10k,

With our faces painted gold and painted black.

So this, then, is our strategy,

Which guarantees us victory,

Thanks to the generosity,

Of this: your loving committee,

The trick, I think, is plain to see:

Get Dave to pay the entry fee!

This year I think we’ll the win the race again.

 

Who can I mention? I know who!

Their achievements are great. Yes, it’s true.

And I’m quite sure that you would really love to hear,

Of the great runs that we’ve ran over this past year.

 

I am reviewing, your achievements,

Over hill and road and track and fell and trail,

And please excuse me, if I mention,

You within the rhyming couplets of my tale.

For starters, I cannot resist,

To mention Matt on Everest,

From park runners out on the Stray,

To Carol on the Pennine Way,

And climbing high on Lakeland Ground,

Emma on the Bob Graham Round.

I wonder what you have in store this year.

 

I am very sorry, if I’ve missed you.

Don’t forget this: I love you, too.

But if I listed each and every run then I really would fear,

That you’d be sat there bored out your brains at the start of next year.

 

But in reviewing, the year that we’ve had,

There are some words of thanks I want to say,

To all the people, to whom I’m grateful,

For the help that they do give in their in their own way,

So think back to November, when,

Matt directed Guy Fawkes 10,

And thankyou to our coaches three,

And then, of course, the committee,

And lastly thanks to all of you,

For all those other things you do,

You’ve made Nidd Valley House a special place.

 

We come to the end, what a relief!

It’s time to sign off, I’ll keep it brief.

For although you’ve been sitting and smiling politely thus far,

I know that you’re itching to go form an orderly queue at the bar.

 

I’ve been reviewing the year that we’ve had,

And I want to say I’m grateful for your time,

I hope it’s helped, that you’ve been drinking,

As you’ve sat and listened to my tuneless rhyme,

But now’s the time to leave the show,

I’m sorry that I have to go,

And now I’m done, you know, I think,

I’m feeling ready for a drink!

So that’s it, kids: I’m outta here!

Can someone get me a cold beer?

This year I think I’ll leave it all to Dan.

 

Word to the Wise

Some of you might recall Christine Jones taking a tumble at the intervals session last week. And that was just the warm up. Anyway, ever the concerned and loving Chairman, I sent a text to her and ask if she was ok and whether the ankle was holding up. And the reply is a warning to all of us about the dangers of predictive text:

“Hi Sam, it’s very sore but I can still gobble so that’s good…”

 

Whether or not Bill is benefiting from Christine’s special skills, I can’t say.

 

See you around…

 

Sam x

 

Weekly Update: Why is Ben wearing a shawl?

Evening troops.

 

Well, once again everyone is very excited as we get ready for the Awards Night. Delivery lorries are up and down the drive to Nidd Valley House and we’re having to bring in extra staff to supplement the hired help already based here. The kitchens are awash with activity as pots and pans bubble away, the chefs try out exciting new recipes and the pastry cooks get started on the puddings. We’ve promised Fingers Harris that he can lick the mixing bowl clean if he is good. The banqueting hall is getting all tidied up and sorted out, although we’ve had to make Fell Running Phil throw the hoover around the place given that it was him who trod mud all over the luxury carpets. We’re working to deadline, but we know we’re on track for a great night on Saturday night and look forward to seeing you.

 

Results

We’re running out of superlatives to describe Carol Morgan taking the position of first lady in the Montane Spine Race from Edale to the Scottish Borders. She set off early on Sunday morning, and some 268 miles and 43,000ft of ascent later, rocked up at the finish late on Thursday night. She managed to knock 43 hours of the previous female course record. That’s nearly two days, people. As she finished, her nearest opponent was still back at Hadrian’s Wall. You can’t overstate the magnitude of her achievement. She’s been covered in everything from the Harrogate Advertiser to the Guardian. But, the greatest honour of all: top of the bill in the weekly round up from Nidd Valley House. Well done, Carol. We’re incredibly proud of you, pleased for you, and thrilled that you’ve made your home with us here in Team Nidd.

Carol appears to have a fireman giving her snacks.

Carol appears to have a fireman giving her snacks.

Right, enough of such adoration. Let’s get to the PECO results from earlier today. For the men, we’ve got Matt Wilkinson (33:44) looking strong and just managing to keep Tim Harvey (34:01) at bay. Men’s Captain Martin Lofthouse (34:58) was always close enough behind to be a danger to them throughout, with Alex Patrickson (35:42), Andy Todd (36:13) and Matt Rickard (37:00) hanging on in there. Mike Deacon (40:50), Maurice Kelly (41:57), Damien Handslip (42:13), Jim Cook (43:31), Mark Armstrong (43:54) were next over the muddy line, with Dave Seaman (45:24), Phil Robinson (45:35) and Neil Wright (59:06) completing the masculine-up (see what I did there? Masculine line up…. Oh never mind). From the ladies, Sue Simpson (44:58) managed not to get herself locked in the loo and so was first Niddette to finish. She was joined (on the race, not in the loo) by Christine Holleran (46:56), who was locked in battle to the finish with Sarah Hughan (46:58). Debbie Gibson (48:08) was on top form as she finished neck and neck with Moira McTague (also 48:08). I’m told that Hannah Peagram (49:28) had a wee in a ditch with Sarah H, but that’s probably too much information for you, so we’ll gloss over that and move onto a pleasingly symmetrical result from Debbie Dilasser (50:50) and other great results from Janet Carling (51:42), Rachael Prince (52:51) and Debbie Handslip (54:20). The muddy proceedings were concluded in great fashion by Michelle Smith (57:51), Sarah Chalmers (59:24) and Fiona Robinson (1:01:31). Well done, peeps!

 

I’ve no idea where Oakwell Park is, but apparently they have a parkrun and that is where Phil (26:14) and Fiona (34:25) Robinson were on Saturday morning. David Shores (23:21) was at the Humber Bridge – sounds ghastly, how the hell they got the capital of culture I’ll never know – and Paul Manning (23:21) remains down under where he completed the Canning Park parkrun. Is it just me, or is it a slightly arresting notion that Paul and Yvonne are currently upside down? Adam Kirk (19:17) was showing off with a brand new PB and second place overall at Dewsbury parkrun. Has to be doping. A quick peek up at Fountains tells me that Andy Todd (21:09), Marcos Montana (25:16), Rob Snow (25:55) and Michelle Dinsdale (30:57) had their trainers laced up and were ready to go.

 

Down in Harrogate, we had the usual suspects lining up to do their three laps of the Stray, starting with Martin Lofthouse (18:57), Matt Wilkinson (20:17), Maurice Kelly (22:44), Jamie Dilasser (23:00), Andy Peagram (23:13), Sue Simpson (23:21) and Steve Newton (24:42). Now he would never tell you himself, but yesterday was Ben Baird’s (24:46) 100th parkrun. But not only that, he even volunteered without pushing himself to a PB and surround himself with bacon sandwich glory. How charitably minded is that? He’s like Mother Theresa. Only minus the shawl and with more lycra. Anyhow, Dave Prince (25:20), Marl Armstrong (25:24), Sarah Hughan (26:22), and newbie Robert Hill (26:37) were the next to finish. But the story doesn’t end there, for we’ve also got great results from Tony LC (26:54), Moira McTague (27:13), Kirsty O’Donnell (28:42), Sue Reast (28:57) and Dave Rushton (29:29). And the famous finishing four? They were Neil Wright (30:22), Hannah Peagram (31:50) Natalia Lancosova (33:04) and Mandy Smith (38:28). Well done to you all.

 

From parkrun to the Pennine Way, I want to know all the juicy and sordid details: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

The Week Ahead

On Tuesday, we’re back at the stamina-building interval sessions. This one is going to be led by the ever-lovely Jon Easton and we’ll be down on Slingsby Walk. Meet at the Hockey Club for 7pm or at the Wetherby Road crossing for 7.10pm and get ready to feel the burn. It’ll be both fun and nice to see you!

 

Sarah Chalmers has suggested that Thursday’s club run should be the supermarkets. Unfortunately, I won’t be there as I am up working in Tyneside so while I’m up there enjoying a little fishie on a little dishie and waiting for the boat to come in, here is your plan: set off from the club at 7pm and make your way down by the railway towards ASDA, heading up Station Parade towards Waitrose. From there, you’re lining up for the showground, and you can go via St Aidan’s or via M&S. Your shout. After that, push on towards Sainsburys, down Wetherby Road and Forest Lane to Morrisons. This takes you into the glorious surroundings of Starbeck with one last pull back up to the club. Refresh yourselves with a few beers with Dave in the bar afterwards.

 

On Saturday, you might think about trading in your parkrun for this little fell race up near Todmorden. The Hoofstones race is only 8 miles with a little under 1,400ft of ascent, so it is all quite manageable. The details of the race can be found here: http://fellrunner.org.uk/races.php?id=4808. You might want to have a chat with Fell Running Phil (our very own evangelist of mud) if you’re new to fell running, and he’ll allay any anxieties you might have, not to mention bore you silly with a detailed exposition of his favourite ever off-road shoes.

 

But don’t spend too long out running because on Saturday night we’ve got the Awards Night. We’ll be on it and at it from 7pm at the Gold Club, so get that cow shit scrubbed of your legs and get yourself dressed up all fancy (well, I say that, I’ll just try and hack a few years off with a razor, you know how it is) and we’ll see you there. If you’ve missed the boat, then I’m sorry to say we have sold out and there is not even one additional ticket left for sale. Can’t wait to see you.

 

Goodbye Judy: 10 February 2017

Good grief, she is a popular old bean, isn’t she? There are hardly any seats left for Judy Greenwood’s leaving meal at Lucias. I’ve never been a huge fan of Italian restaurants to tell you the truth, lots of people breaking into spontaneous renditions of O Sole Mio and waiters trying to jam their groins in your tortellini while brandishing oversized pepper mills. But enough of me and my prejudices. If you would like to share some farewell garlic bread with Judy and Mike to say goodbye, then you need to get yourself booked in with Nidd Valley’s very own maître d’, Fiona Deacon: mjfjdeacon@sky.com.

 

AGM: 16 February 2017

Nominations have started to pour in here at Nidd Valley House as we prepare for the AGM and election of the new committee. We haven’t seen Treasurer Dave for weeks as he is buried under a pile of spreadsheets anxiously trying to find his red briefcase. He does like to commend his budget to the house, I’ll say that much. But you really need to be there. We might even buy you some pizza for your tea as a special treat. All the relevant info from Secretarial Sarah can be found here: http://niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk/2017/01/18/agm-2017/.

 

Knaresborough Bed Race: 10 June 2017

I am still unbelievably excited. Maybe you are a bed race veteran or perhaps you are looking to pop your bed racing cherry for the very first time. If you’d like to be involved in the Nidd Valley campaign this year, then you need to let me know: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

Word to the Wise

“That was cracking” – Carol Morgan, having completed the Montane Spine Race. She’s a funny old cookie.

 

See you soon, kids.

 

Sam x

 

AGM 2017

Dear Members

This email gives formal notice of the Annual General Meeting of Nidd Valley Road Runners on Thursday 16th February 2017, at 8.30pm in the bar at the hockey club.

proposed agenda is attached for your information along with copies of the current constitution and minutes from last year.

 

Club Committee

You are eligible to stand for any positions on the committee even if the current incumbent wishes to stand for re election. Should you wish to stand please email enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk with your name, the position you wish to stand for and two fellow club members to propose and second you for the post. All nominations should be in by midnight on Sunday 2nd February 2017. Please see attached agenda.

Motions for discussion

Please email enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk with any motion you or other members wish to be discussed and voted upon, this will then be included in the agenda. These must be in within 14 days of the meeting by midnight on Sunday 2nd February 2017.

We will be taking a vote on a charity donation of some surplus club funds. Should a motion pass to allocate funds to charity, we will need to identify a suitable recipient. Ordinarily we have always given this to Saint Michael’s Hospice in Harrogate, should you wish to nominate any other cause, all nominations should be in by midnight on Sunday 2nd February 2017, to enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

Attendance at the AGM
We require as many people as possible to make any electoral decisions count on the night so please make every effort to attend. Every AGM requires a minimum of 20% attendance to be able to conduct business.
Pizzas will be provided for those attending at the AGM – please let Sam know if you have any dietary requirements. chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.
See you there.
Many thanks
Sarah
Sarah Hughan
Secretary
Nidd Valley Road Runners

 

Weekly Update: Nidd Valley House, we have a problem…

Guten tag, alle zusammen!

 

So who else is following Carol Morgan as she does the Spine Race on the Pennine Way? I can’t take my eyes off the online tracker. It’s like Mission Control here at Nidd Valley House. Lots of anxious people watching the countless monitors on the wall and staring intently at computers. She’s doing very well, and at the time of writing is the first lady and in seventh place overall. It’s early days as she skirts round Manchester, Edale behind her, on her way up towards Yorkshire and Northumbria, but we all know she can do this! Come on Carol, we’re all rooting for you! Follow Carol here: http://map.opentracking.co.uk/spinerace17/map.htm.

NVH Mission Control

NVH Mission Control

And while she slogs up another hill in the pouring rain, let’s have a look at the results.

 

Results

Jane Hill is this week’s eager beaver, being the first tell me her result from the Brass Monkey half marathon in York, and we will indeed come to her in a moment. Alex Patrickson (1:21:49), Andy Todd (1:25:35), Adam Kirk (1:29:17) all squeaked in under the 1:30 barrier – something that I can only dream of to be honest with you – so it huge congratulations to those three people (I’ve also just noticed that their names all being with an A. First letter in the alphabet. First to finish. Spooky). Rachael Prince (1:57:29) sneaked herself in under the 2-hour barrier, with Jenny Manning (2:02:04) never too far behind. And last, but by no means least, Jane Hill (2:17:19) completes the line up.

 

So that’s your lot for road running. We had a few people up racing the Stanbury Splash fell race today up near Haworth. I cannot find any results for this race yet (well it is fell racing, after all – have a look in a few weeks, they might have appeared by then), so you’ll just have to imagine some arbitrary numbers in imaginary brackets when you read the following list of Nidds: Matt Wilkinson, Cath Barber and Sarah Chalmers. Although timeless, I’m sure it was all very impressive, and has given me one of the best wise words for months – see below!! Well done to all of you who took part.

 

Update: results are in at the last minute: Matt Wilkinson (59:48), Cath Barber (1:20:01), Sarah Chalmer (1:48:27). You’re nothing if not updated, peeps.

 

And with the inevitable and soul destroying tedium, we come to parkrun. First off the blocks this week, we’ve got Phil and Fiona Robinson who were racing down in the parkrun at Barnsley (I can’t help saying that in an exaggerated Yorkshire accent, like ‘Baaarnslay’ so that I end up sounding like William Hague. I’ve no idea why). Phil (25:43) was first to finish and was back at the line to cheer Fiona (32:42) home. If taking your wife to run a South Yorkshire parkrun is your idea of a hot date, Phil, you need to up your game. Take a leaf out of Paul Manning’s book, why don’t you? He’s taken his missus Yvonne to Australia, and while she was drinking a Fosters and throwing a few more shrimps on the BBQ, Paul took a turn round the Albert parkrun in Melboune. He finished in 23:29, you know, the little superstar that he is.

 

Anyway, it’s a relief to get away from savages of Barnsley back to the civilities of Harrogate, where Matt Wilkinson (18:18) got what proud-wife-to-be Plippy tells me is his second fastest ever time. Well done, Matt. Martin Lofthouse (18:37) pipped Matt Rickard (19:23) to the line in what I think will be a new PB for Matt. Andy Peagram (21:00) was the first post-20 minute Nidd, with Adam Kirk (21:29), Jamie Dilasser (22:13), Sue Simpson (23:02) and newbie David Shores (23:07) making easy work of the course. Good god, this list goes on forever doesn’t it? Never mind. Onwards. Jim Cook (24:15), Mark Armstrong (24:42), Tony LC (26:32), Hannah Peagram (28:07), Debbie Dilasser (28:08), Rebecca Ventress (28:18) and Ewa Scott (28:21) were the next to finish, with Kirsty O’Donnell (28:50), Sue Reast (28:58) and Jeff Walker (29:01) also putting in to-drawer efforts. Finishing things off, we’ve got three veterans of the Nidd Valley parkrun campaign: Dave Rushton (29:28), Michelle Dinsdale (31:26) and Mandy Smith (37:36). Well done to you all.

 

Same shit, different day. Update me: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

The Week Ahead

On Tuesday, we have the next instalment of the stamina interval sessions. This one is down on West Park (you know the one, the triangle run that seems to go on for ever) and is led by Sarah H. Maybe we’ll get to do another 1980s fitnessIt’ll be a blast, and we look forward to seeing you warm up! Anyway, you won’t know unless you turn up so get yourself to the Hockey Club for 7pm for a warm up jog. I can hardly wait to see you.

 

On Thursday, you’ve got a couple of choices going on. There’ll be a steady club run running the Knox route. For that, it’s over iron bridge and round Woodfield Road, picking your way through Bilton before coming up for air on Skipton Road. After that, it’s down to the Little Wonder roundabout, before heading up Ripon Road and into town, before turning for the club, extending round the Stray if that tickles your fancy. As an alternative, I’m going to lead a headtorch run down the greenway to Ripley. We’ll join the others over iron bridge, and then make our way through the darkness to see what things go bump in the night, before heading back through Killinghall and up through Bilton to the club. Whatever you do, be at the Hockey Club for 7pm and join us for a couple of pints afterwards.

 

Committee Meeting: 18 January 2017

My very last one. It’ll be emotional. If you’ve got something you’d like discussing at what promises to be a tense, thrilling and gripping meeting, you’ve still got time to let Sarah H know: enquiries@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

Awards Night: 28 January 2017

I warned you, and I warned you many times. If you didn’t get a wriggle on, you’d miss the boat. And the HMS Nidd Valley has indeed set sail: there are no more tickets for the Awards Night. Not a sausage. We have completely and utterly sold out.

 

If you haven’t let Sarah C know your food choices or if you haven’t settled the bill with Dave (actually, that reminds me…) then you need to do so ASAP. You’ll find Dave in some state of undress in the men’s changing rooms, and you’ll find Sarah here: scpyman@hotmail.com.

 

Goodbye Judy: 10 February 2017

Yeah, I know. It’s pretty tragic but Judy G is abandoning us in pursuit of an idyllic life in the Lake District with hubby Mike. You can’t blame her, I suppose. Anyway, if you want to come and say your tearful goodbyes or just make sure that she goes, that sort of thing, then there will be a farewell meal at Lucias on Friday 10 February. If you want to go along (and I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t), then you need to let Fiona F know: mjfjdeacon@sky.com (please note the new email address!).

 

AGM: 16 February 2017

The details for this will be out this week. Just save the date. You really need to be there.

 

Knaresborough Bed Race: 10 June 2017

Oh, yes please! I love bed racing, I really do. It probably is my very favourite day of the entire year. Drinking, cross dressing, swimming, running. Great. Anyway, if you want to get involved in Team Nidd’s glorious efforts this year, please register your interest with me. Once we’ve got a list of daft buggers together, we’ll try and form some teams from there. I’m not after ready-made teams yet, just expressions of interest. I’m still here at Nidd Valley House: chair@niddvalleyroadrunners.co.uk.

 

Word to the Wise

My informant rang me up today with this absolute gem from the Stanbury Splash race. It really is great and more than a little bit risqué, and I hesitate to print it for fear of reprisals. But then I thought, hey, I’ll be gone in a few weeks. What’s the worst that can happen?

 

Sarah Chalmers: “At least I didn’t get mud up my crack this time…”

 

Whether she is talking about her rear bottom or her front bottom, I’m unable to say.

 

And on that lurid note, it’s a goodnight from me.

 

Sam x