(TLDR. For those short of time…. On Tuesday we have fell training in Pateley Bridge, and a club run from the Hockey Club. On Thursday, we have the Kings Challenge Fell Race in Silsden, and a club run round Crimple Valley. On Sunday, we’ve got the family sports day on the Stray. The rest of the email is a handful of results, me pushing my luck, and a light scattering of sexual innuendo).
S’up.
It’s competition time at Nidd Valley House. Those of you who follow Facebook will have noticed that our very own Bec Carman has found a novel and fashionable use for her Nidd Valley buff when holidaying in Italy.
Well, not to be outdone, one of the Nidd Valley gentlemen has fashioned himself some rather fetching and snug-fitting underwear from his buff.
If you think that you can identify the Nidder-in-the-buff-if-not-for-his-buff, then please let me know: samfugill@gmail.com. There will be a prize for the first successful entry drawn at random. The Nidder in question has offered to donate the buff, unwashed, as a prize. So while you make a dash for the bathroom with vomit spraying out between your fingers, let’s have a look at the week ahead.
The Week Ahead
On Tuesday, you’ve got two options, the first of which being the fell training session. This week’s session will be led by Emma K and Babs, and starts at 6.30pm. This week, we’re heading up t’dale to Pateley Bridge. Meet in the carpark over the bridge and opposite the park. As ever, the emphasis is on having a go and having a laugh, so if you’ve ever wanted to know if fell running is for you (it is, by the way), then why not go and give it a shot? You’ll be in safe hands.
If you prefer your running a little more local and a little less undulating, then on Tuesday we have a club run as per the normal arrangements. This week’s run has been chosen by the delightful Sarah Fabron, who would like a spot of light cragrattery. Meet at the Hockey Club and be good to go for 7pm, and head out over the iron bridge and down the Beryl Burton to Knaresborough. Once you hit Waterside, you could run up over Forest Moor, or take the cross county over the fields and by the golf course. As ever, leave no one behind and make sure you have a lovely evening.
On Thursday, we’ve got the next in the fell championships, with the Kings Challenge Fell Race in Silsden. Brian did it last year and enjoyed it so much that he asked for it to be included in the championships. And where is our Bri this week? Cornwall. Cornwall, people. What a tool. Anyway, it’s a great race, with some good knotty technical bits to test your nerves. It’s a six miles out and back race from the pub to the trig up on Long Ridge End, and entry will set you back just £5. As a heads up, pick your descending line carefully as you come back into the park, as me and a couple of other runners got it slightly wrong last year and ended up running over a bowling green, mid-game, jumping over the balls riverdance-style and apologising to the slightly miffed players as we went. More details here: https://tinyurl.com/4cvxxjvw.
If fell running ain’t your bag, well don’t you fret, as there’ll be another club run on Thursday. This run has been chosen by one of our newer members, Jonathan Kay. Jonathan fancies a bit of Crimple Valley, and so we’ll leave the Hockey Club at 7pm and head out over the Stray. Work your way through the Saints and through Hookstone Woods, skirting the edge of Hornbeam Park. Run down to Crimple Beck, picking up the Ring Way and past the Travellers Rest. From there, you can head up through Starbeck and past Mozzas, before heading back up to the club. It’s a little over 10k, so feel free to extend or shorten as the mood takes you. Please don’t leave anyone behind. We’re not that kind of club. Pints in the bar afterwards.
On Sunday, Captain Sarah has organised the Nidd Valley Sports Day Social. Meet from 2pm on the Stray where Parkrun happens, and there’ll be a range of fun races, games, and cricket. Bring some chairs and a picnic, and enjoy the chance to catch up with your fellow Nidds and let your children run loose.
Results
Modesty! Thy name is McTague! Humility! Thy name is Parker! Moira McTague and hubby Guy Parker slinked off to do the Lotherton Hall 5 mile trail race on Friday night. To think that they did not tell me about their successes, either. Well, the Nidd Intelligence of Participant Performance & Local Espionage Society (also known as NIPPLES) has tapped the relevant wires and can confirm that Guy (52.12) and Moira (52.13) made comfortable work of the course. Well done to them.
Looking back to last weekend, I’ve got the results from the James Herriot Country Trail Race. Captain Dazzler (1:02.39) was, as is so often the case, leading from the front, with Fingers Harris (1:04.53), Martin Lofthouse (1:05.06), Andy Todd (1:07.26) and Kevin Clark (1:08.04) snapping away at his heels. Brian Hainsworth (1:14.17) was locked in battle with Simon Cocker (1:14.20) who almost had him at the line, while Richard Evans (1:17.56) overtook yours bloodied and truly (1:18.25) on the final mile run in. Say what you like, but Helen Gregory (1:19.00) seems to get stronger by the day, and managed to hold off formidable competition from Captain Sarah (1:21.50) to claim the full championship points. Back with the boys, Chris Morris (1:23.37) made easy work of the gruelling climbs, chased down the thrilling descents by Jane Evans (1:24.07) and Emma David (1:25.21), while Jeremy Leggings (1:26.22) and the ever-lovely Jose Jimenez (1:26.24) went to a nail biting finish.
I get precious little else but abuse from Roger Duckworth (1:27.25) these days, but it’s a cross we have to bear and it is lovely to see him out and about and running so well. I also want to sing the praises of Rachel Mills (1:29.02) and Helen Cook (also 1:29.02), and everybody’s favourite fell runner, Fell Running Phil (1:30.09), not forgetting the great performances from A;lex Gudgeon (1:32.10), Chatty McChatface (1:32.38) and Jonathan Kay (1:39.23). Nick Smith (1:44.50) was on smoking form as he led Sarah Chalmers (1:50.46), Michelle Smith (1:52.23) and Mrs Robinson (2:12.37) to the line. Some great times there, everyone, and a great effort from Team Nidd.
If I might just indulge myself for a quick moment. The race didn’t go quite as I had hoped, and I certainly wasn’t banking on taking a flying lesson and getting a fractured elbow. Still, the care and kindness showed by everyone was very much appreciated, and reminded me why Nidd really is the best running club around. As for those of you who sent me text messages calling me a “dozy t*t” and a “clumsy doofus”, well, you know you are.
Anyway, let’s have less of me and more of you, and the North Yorkshire Moors is just the place to do it. Now, Phil Ventress has threatened me to say that “don’t f*ck this up, or I’ll go to the committee”, so I better accurately report his results from the Hardmoors Farndale Trail Series. Well, Phil completed the half marathon course (actually 16 miles, to be precise) in 2:59, while Roger Duckworth completed the 10k in 1:43 (the 10k was actually 8.5 miles).
Of course, today, we had the fell championship race at Round Hill. Now, this being fell running, we won’t expect any results any time this side of Christmas. I’ll publish them as soon as we have them. But before we leave the moor above Timble, allow me to share a short story. So, Dave Seaman set off on the race, with Chatty McChatface for company. “You’re going to get an ear bending all the way, Dave”, said Plippy. Well, didn’t he just, until he managed to get a short lead and some much needed peace and quiet. The chap in front of Dave then took a wrong turn and, advised by Dave that he “had gone the wrong way” (sound familiar, anyone?), was brought back onto the straight and boggy and found himself in the company of Chatty. Dave spent the rest of the race expecting to be taken over, but says this never happened and attributes this to the fact that Chatty was doing what Chatty does best (chatting). We’ve since found out that this chap was called Dan, and that he holds Chatty responsible for getting him around. Good on you, Debs. That’s what makes Nidd great (I say great, I mean batsh*t crazy).
Chatty and Dan
Also today, I’ve got the results from the York 10k and am pleased to report that James Coulthard (43.15) led Katharine Dolman (52.37) to the finish line while Miss Long Distance herself, Emily Wighton (56.56) put in a sparkling performance with Sue Ball (57.50), Jeff Walker (1:16.56) and JonathanClipston (1:16.56). So that’s them and that’s that. Well done to them all.
In that happiest of places that we call Planet Parkrun, we’ve had Nidds taking the black and gold to Woodhouse Moor, York, Brueton, Cusworth, Norwich, Wolverhampton, Agnew and Edgsbaston, in addition to the usual haunts of Harrogate, Fountains Abbey and Conyngham Hall. Read all about it: https://tinyurl.com/4cbrfjde.
What shall we use / To fill the empty spaces / Where we used to talk? / How shall I fill the final places? / How should I complete the wall?: samfugill@gmail.com.
Apology of the Week
So a couple of weeks ago, I gave shout outs from the results from the Hampsthwaite Feast Run. As the results did not list runners by club, it was inevitable that I would miss one or two people out. And on the fell training on the Chevin, Sue Ball told me that I had omitted her. Well, Sue was ever so apologetic and if-it-isn’t-too-much-trouble about it (and why is it that the British always apologise when pointing out somebody else’s shortcomings?) and there’s no way I couldn’t leave this record unstraightened. So I’m delighted to tell you that Sue hit the finishing line in a spectacular 27.46, showing herself more than worthy of her Nidd colours. Well done, Sue.
If you find that you’ve been missed out from the results and that your trumpet remains unblown, you only have to let me know. I’d be more than happy to give it a toot: samfugill@gmail.com.
Further Ahead & Booking Now Open
Here are a few quick reminders for those of you who like your diaries organised and your races booked.
On Weds 17 Aug 2022, we’ve got the Sessay Swift in the road championships, and this 6k (yeah, I know, not many of them around), will push your stamina to the limit. Entry is a bit steep for the distance at £10, but it’s a way to fill an otherwise quiet evening. That said, so is sitting on your backside in front of the television with an enormous bag of kettle chips. Enter here: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h8edp.
A couple of days later, we’ve got the York 5k Race Series on Fri 19 Aug 2022. This is on the track at York University and will be familiar to anyone who has been bored out of their brains at the Heslington Parkrun (same course, you see). Still, if you want your championship points then you’ll have to pay up, turn up, and put up: https://tinyurl.com/48tdawuu.
Annual Trip to Bridlington: 02 Oct 2022
If you want to take part in a 13.5 mile trail race around Bridlington, then this is where you need to be: https://tinyurl.com/478kk9bc. If you want a place on the party bus, please deposit £5 in the club account (Nidd Valley Road Runners, acc 12074796 and s.c. 40-23-12) referencing your name and the bus trip, then let Martin Lofthouse know that you want to come: 07849 759764. The journey back normally takes about 15 minutes longer, as we have several wee stops following a very pleasant afternoon in the fine hostelries of Bridlington.
Word to the Wise
This week’s wise words come from our very own Sarah Chalmers. You know who I’m talking about, she’s the one with the big smile and the sunny disposition. At the start of the James Herriot race, Sarah was – as I am sure you can imagine – in a sparkling mood and raring to go. Someone suggested that she might want to try and be a little more positive.
“Positivity? And just exactly how is positivity going to make this race the slightest bit more enjoyable?…” – Sarah Chalmers, reminding us just why we love her so much.
Have a wonderful week. His Lordship loves you.
Sam x